deep thoughts from mom

tonight ... my thoughts go to that saying "what you don't know can't hurt you." really, are you sure? i wonder this very thought as i think of all that ella hasn't learned about this world ... and the people in it. what you see isn't always what you get, you can't always have what you want, etc. how does one protect a little heart, when it's so hard to protect your own? curiosity killed the cat ... and i believe it! but isn't it always worth seeking and finding? i wonder these things ...

the search continues ...

the house we looked at saturday was a dud. it amazes me what money can buy ... and what it can't :) so, the search continues. i will now have a realtor to help me on this journey ... and hopefully we will find our perfect nook ... that feels like home. for now, there are options ... which is certainly not a bad thing. being in the apartment world is always a safe backup. ella reminds me daily of what is important ... and to not sweat the small stuff ... or the big stuff. when @ the end of your rope, just tie a knot and hang on!

new old dress

today i put a dress on ella ... one that my mom saved from when i was 2. she and my dad went to haiti on a mission trip and this was something she picked out just for me. today, ella is wearing it ... as if it were meant just for her.

stickers

ella loves stickers ... @ lunch with the cousins, calvin decided to use her as a sticker board and she actually let him :)

today ... i woke up early to ponder decisions in the making. buy or rent? i am looking at a house on saturday ... very near my parents ... and cherrington elementary. why is this so scary ... this big exciting adventure ... ? if i decide to rent, ella and i will most likely head downtown ... and what a change that would be as well. crossroads ... fork in the road ... i can't seem to wrap my head around this next step. my decisions are no longer my own, but rather, the ultimate path for ella. ella, ella, ella ... thank God for her as my little sidekick :)

so i got a promotion @ work :)

seven years ... finally paid off. with the luck of one co-worker deciding to head south for a new position, the shift happened ... and i was blessed enough to get the opportunity to be a property manager. what a whirlwind it has been the last few days ... nerves, pressure, no time, excitement ... all rolled into one. it leaves me with one thought at the end of the day though ... and that is ella. no matter what my day holds ... no matter what my job holds ... nothing is more important than my happiness with her. i always carry every moment with her in the back of my mind ... every hug, smile, kiss, laugh ... those are the things that make me - me. a mom. lucky, lucky me.